I’m sitting in the chair at the salon, praying that by some miracle the woman about to cut my hair actually knows what she’s doing. It’s my first time with her… an exasperated decision I made after learning that yet another hairstylist I’d grown to love was leaving the city.
When I walked in, she was overeager. Almost aggressively confident. She rattled off her credentials, assured me she specialized in curls, promised I was “in good hands.” I wanted to believe her. But a few awkward chops in, and my stomach sank. You know the feeling where your nervous system clocks danger before your mind fully catches up.
She finishes and spins me toward the mirror. I stare back, longingly. The curls I’d spent the last year growing and slowly shaping with the help of my previous stylist had been flattened into a triangle and chopped right back up to my shoulders. All that patience, undone in forty-five minutes.
I walk home defeated. I jump straight into the shower, hoping there’s something I can do to save my locks. And standing there, hair soaking wet, I make myself a promise: I will never let this happen to me again.
How many times have I sat in a stranger’s chair, fingers crossed, hoping it would work out? How many times have I allowed someone to chop off my curls in the name of “growth,” only to find myself right back where I started? And why am I trusting other people with something I haven’t even learned to understand myself?
This time, something had to give. Instead of rushing to fix it, or hand my hair over to someone else to manage, I decided it was time to bring my slow beauty philosophy to the tendrils of my hair. To actually pay attention to and learn my hair, and what it needs to thrive. Here’s what I learned…
New to this Slow Beauty Series? Start here.
What Slow Haircare Means to Me
Taking a slow beauty approach to haircare simply means being intentional about how you care for your hair. It’s recognizing that your hair has its own texture and personality, and learning to work with it rather than outsourcing that relationship to someone else’s rules or recommendations.
For years, I wished for healthy, shiny, beautiful long curls while simultaneously paying them very little attention. I relinquished responsibility by going along with whatever my latest stylist suggested, trusting that they knew better than I did. I slathered my hair in cheap, heavy products because they looked okay in the moment, even though they were drying my hair out and causing damage I’d eventually have to cut away. I dragged combs roughly through my curls, tearing and pulling, telling myself that being rough with my head was simply part of having curly hair.
A slow beauty approach to haircare asks me to take my time. To recognize that I get to choose the experience I have with my hair, whether it’s gentle or rushed, nourishing or careless. It’s helped me realize that haircare can be relaxing and luxurious, rather than something to power through. That I’m capable of smooth, shiny curls when I want them, and a little fluff and body when I don’t.
It’s also invited me to embrace the changing nature of my curls. Some days they’re perfectly smooth. The further I get from wash day, the more body and lightness they take on. Slow haircare, for me, has meant learning to work with all of it, rather than constantly trying to control or correct what my hair is naturally doing.
My Slow Haircare Routine
I’ll start by saying this isn’t a rigid routine by any means. Because of my commitment to slow haircare, I pay attention to my hair and respond to what it needs, when it needs it. Hair is one of those things that has the power to completely change how we feel in our bodies. Because of that, I do my best to care for mine in a way that feels respectful and intentional. Some weeks that looks like extra nourishment and care. Other times, it means leaving it alone.
When you commit to slow haircare, what follows feels more like a framework for relating to your hair than a set of rules. It challenges you to be present to how your hair is actually responding, and adapt accordingly. That said, without further ado, here is my guide to slow haircare:
1. Hair Mask Ritual
Never in my life did I think I needed a hair mask. It always felt like one of those frivolous beauty steps people overdid. Something that sounded luxurious but made very little real difference in how hair actually looked or felt. But when I adopted a slow haircare mentality and started paying closer attention to what it would actually take to care for my hair well, or for it to grow, one thing became clear: I needed to care for my ends far better than I had been. Damaged ends mean more cutting. And more cutting means staying stuck in the same place, length-wise, year after year.
So I decided to experiment. I started using a hydrating mask from Prose, and it’s been a game changer. Not only has it noticeably improved the softness and hydration of my hair, it’s made detangling in the shower infinitely easier. Which is something my curls deeply appreciate. Less pulling and tearing!
But just as important as the results is the ritual itself. I love massaging the mask into my hair slowly, intentionally, and then stepping out onto my balcony with a cup of my favorite Happiness potion while it soaks in. It turns haircare into a little moment of indulgence in my day. Knowing ingredients like hyaluronic acid, argan, avocado, shea, and castor oils are sinking into my strands feels both grounding and luxurious. This step alone changed how I relate to my hair. Instead of correcting damage after the fact, I’m supporting it before it happens.
2. Slow, Gentle Detangling
This might feel obvious to you, but it absolutely wasn’t to me.
When I was a kid, my mum used to tear through my hair like it was a competitive sport. I’d have these big knots and dry curls, and she’d be whipping my head around, determined to get through it as quickly as possible. Some days it genuinely felt like my hair was going to come out at the root.
As I moved into adulthood, I unknowingly carried that same approach with me. Rushing to get the knots out. Pulling through my curls. Undoubtedly causing more damage than I realized, as evidenced by the massive piles of hair left sitting in my comb afterward.
Looking back now, I see what was really happening… We were rushing. I’d watch my friends with straight hair casually brush their hair. Three easy strokes and they’re out the door. But curly hair doesn’t work like that. Detangling curls without damaging them takes time, patience, and a completely different relationship to the process.
These days, I detangle my hair twice a week on wash days, using my Unbrush (hands down the best brush I’ve ever used). I start gently at the ends and slowly work my way up, letting the knots release. What I’ve found is that when I’m intentional about how I detangle, my hair looks and feels healthier for longer. There’s less breakage and shedding. Detangling, like my weekly hair mask, has become a ritual that is helping me to learn how to be gentle with my body.
3. Wash & Dry… When Works For Me.
I used to wash my hair once every seven to ten days. I loved a big, round, blown-out style, and I convinced myself the only way to get it was to wait until my hair was thoroughly dry, a little fuzzy, and very tangled. Until one day, I caught my reflection and realized I was naïvely rocking the dirty-and-damaged look.
In an effort to course-correct, I swung in the opposite direction and started washing my hair three times a week. And while I loved how healthy it felt, it quickly became unsustainable—mostly because washing, detangling, and drying curly hair is a commitment. If you know, you know.
These days, I’ve found that my sweet spot is washing and drying my hair twice a week. But I’m totally open to that changing again. That’s the joy of slow beauty. It’s about finding a cadence that supports both the health of your hair and the reality of your life.
4. Protecting My Hair While I Rest
For a long time, nighttime was where all my good hair intentions unraveled. I’d take the time to wash, detangle, hydrate, and style my hair, only to roll around on cotton sheets, wake up with flattened curls, frizz, and tangles, and then wonder why my hair always felt like it was fighting me.
A slow beauty approach asks How do I support my hair while I’m resting?
That’s meant protecting my curls at night with a satin bonnet, because I’m choosing not to undo my own care while I sleep. Satin reduces friction, helps my hair retain moisture, and allows my curls to stay soft and intact, without effort in the morning.
But beyond the practical benefits, wearing a bonnet has become part of my wind-down ritual. It’s about really bringing presence to my beauty routine, and continuing to support my joy, even in sleep.
Slow haircare is about honoring rest as part of the routine. Trusting that protection can be just as powerful as intervention. And letting beauty be something that’s cared for, overnight too.
Slow Beauty Hair Products I Use
Before I talk about the products I use, I want to reiterate that slow beauty isn’t as much about what we use as it is about the intention we bring to the way we care for ourselves. Products matter, yes, but they’re secondary to presence, patience, and the relationship we’re building with our bodies.
And yet, something interesting tends to happen when we slow down. We begin to care more about ourselves, about what we put in our hair and on our scalp, and about how those choices affect not only our bodies, but the environment we’re living in. Without forcing it, discernment naturally follows attention.
I went on what can only be described as a slightly ridiculous hunt—googling ingredient lists and reading brand philosophies late into the night. I tried a bunch of different products for feel and results. Eventually, I landed on one main brand I genuinely love and trust, and a second that I reach for occasionally as a simple, reliable backup.
Prose (Here’s my referral code if you want $20 off >)
Before going any further, if you haven’t already, I recommend reading this post where I share about clean beauty vs slow beauty. When I first began my search, I was very much looking for “clean beauty products.” And every time I searched for clean beauty for curly hair, Prose popped up right at the top.
Oddly enough, I kept scrolling. Something about the idea of custom haircare made me hesitant at first. A formulation made just for me? It sounded a little gimmicky. So I kept looking and comparing until eventually, curiosity won. And once I tried it, there was no going back.
Prose is a thoughtful brand that feels genuinely aligned with a slow living philosophy. They create made-to-order formulations tailored not only to your hair, but to your climate and the changing seasons. If something doesn’t feel quite right, you can tweak it, and they’ll refine the formula until it does.
They also have environmentally friendly packaging, and care about the impact of their production on nature, which is always a selling point for me.
Innersense Organic Beauty
I’d heard people talking about Innersense Organic Beauty for a while—an organic, botanical brand especially popular with the curly hair crowd. But I didn’t actually try it until I ran out of Prose and my next bottle hadn’t yet arrived in the mail.
Innersense was really nice. I loved the feel, the smell, and the overall experience. Like Prose, it felt like a thoughtful, well-intentioned brand.
Here’s where the slow beauty lens comes in, though. Much like my experience with slow skincare, I noticed that while I appreciate fully clean formulations, my hair responds best when that cleanliness is paired with high-performance, science-backed formulations. For my curls, Prose simply works better.
So Innersense has become my “this works and I don’t need to overthink it” alternative. But when I slow down and listen to what my hair actually needs, I go with what performs best for my unique texture, environment, and curls. And that, to me, is slow beauty in practice.
Slow Beauty Has Changed My Hair
These days, my hair is shinier and growing faster than ever before. Just yesterday, a friend said to me, “Wow Candis, your curls are popping.” The products I’m using have played a role, of course. But it’s more than that.
It’s the kindness.
I’m gentler with my hair now. I no longer treat it like the problem child I’m constantly trying to tame. I pay attention to it. I move slowly enough to notice what it needs and what it doesn’t.
Slow haircare isn’t about doing everything the prescribed “clean beauty” way. It’s about slowing down, listening closely, and learning to work with what nature has already given you.
So the question becomes: what might change if you approached your hair with the same patience and care you’re learning to offer the rest of your life?
Karen Williams
Love it!! X
Candis Williams
Happy to hear that!