A couple of years ago, I was on the phone with my mum. It was 8pm, and I was taking a break from work, yet again. When I told her I was still working, she said, “Candis, you’re just so busy!”
Something in her voice turned me off… It was a combination of respect but also detachment. I hated the way “busy” sounded. Not only did the word carry for me a sense of chaotic energy, but I knew that I wanted to have a slower, more intentional, and romantic life that didn’t live and die on how much I produced. I didn’t want to live in a constant state of busyness, rushing through life without mindfulness or intention. I wanted to know how to slow down.
At that point in my life, not a lot seemed to really be “working.” I was trying so hard to build a business that felt misaligned with what I wanted and who I am. I was neglecting my health. My skin was dry and messy, my stomach was constantly bloated. Every conversation with friends was dominated by work and how hard we were all hustling. Most of my relationships felt transactional. I carried a sense of guilt and judgment for myself when I wasn’t working. My 10-year marriage was suffering from the curse of disconnection.
It didn’t matter how hard I worked, nothing seemed to really be moving. I had been in a plateau in so many areas of my life for years. So I decided to do something completely counterintuitive—I decided to slow down, break free from hustle culture, and prioritize peace, happiness, and well-being above all else. Especially above the ideas I had around becoming rich and famous, and above the need for recognition and to prove myself to anyone! I figured if I could just get happy, enjoy my life, feel at peace, and live a richly romantic life (with or without a man), then I would’ve already won.
So, I made a conscious decision to slow down and move with more intention, prioritizing peace, romance, and beauty in my everyday life. And, unsurprisingly, my whole life changed! Here are the simple shifts I made in order to begin living a calmer life.
4 Simple Shifts to Slow Down and Prioritize Peace
1. Letting Go Of My “Dreams”
Firstly, I had to get honest about what I was willing to let go of. For me, I had to build the courage to let go of my business at the time, which was focused on educating people about marketing and personal branding. Closing the doors to that chapter felt like a failure. I had long identified with the idea of being a “boss babe,” so to give that up and risk what people might think of me was hard. That maybe I was a fraud who’d built a false identity I was showing off to the world.
I let go of the idea of being a business owner (for a while) and instead began a job as an employee, leveraging my skills for someone else’s business. It was humbling not being front and center, not getting the “recognition” I thought I deserved. I had to let go of what felt like my dream. But over time, I came to see that by letting go, I freed myself to discover the work that felt truly aligned with who I am, and as a result, life and work began to unfold in the most magical and aligned ways.
Today, I am a business owner once again, but I operate in a much more relaxed way, that feels both authentic and fulfilling. I am richly rewarded for the work I do, in both money and satisfaction. I still get to create my own schedule, teach, and share with others, but in a way that is a natural and effortless extension of who I am.
I also let go of my marriage, and freed myself to experience a greater love (with myself!) than I’ve ever known, but that’s a story for another blog post.
2. Getting Honest About My Habits
I had done enough reading and self-development to know all the things I “should” be doing, but the truth is, I was inconsistently taking care of myself. I was prioritizing the race to “become someone” over the very habits that would bring me peace and true success. I remember waking up on some days feeling anxious before I even opened my eyes. I placed so much pressure on myself to be a “high-performer” that I wasn’t even truly high-performing. I was burning out.
I was waking up and reaching for my phone immediately. Checking emails. Scrolling social media. Overloading my mind before I even took a breath. I was being dishonest with myself about how these habits were robbing me of my peace. I would fill my mind with the rat race before I nourished my body through stillness (aka meditation), movement or other spiritual rituals.
I got honest about the role social media played in my life and I realized that, at that time, it wasn’t serving me. I had lied to myself about needing it for work, but in reality, few of my clients came from social media. My TV hosting jobs had all been booked by my agent. I was wasting time and calling it busyness. So I decided to take a break, eventually deactivating my social media accounts for many months.
By getting honest about my habits, I was able to cut through the mental clutter and break free from hustle culture, so that I could begin reconnecting with life in a more meaningful way.
3. Finding My “Constant“
I was talking to my friend Sofia recently about what keeps us grounded during times of transition or hardship. For her, it’s training her body. She called it her “constant,” and I loved that idea: Something that anchors you despite the chaos of the fast-paced world swirling around you.
Growing up, my dad had a practice he raised us with that he called Worship. It was 20-30 minutes each morning of prayer, reading, and writing. As a kid, I never appreciated this. But later, I realized my external state of chaos, busyness, and overload was a reflection of having disconnected from this daily practice.
So I began to cultivate a morning practice of stillness and reflection. It’s a ritual that I now call Devotion. I wake up, sit by my window or on my balcony, and simply relax my mind, bringing presence into my body. Over time, this practice has expanded to include slow morning walks and journaling. This has become my constant. The practice which tethers me to my internal anchor and reminds me to find the stillness within, so that I might experience a sense of slowness in my everyday life.
4. Embracing the Ever-Changing Nature of All Things
There’s this thing that happens when we think we can fail—we try desperately not to. We cling to relationships, work, even our own “dreams,” trying to force them to bend to our will. But life moves in seasons. When we resist change, we suffer.
I had to embrace the idea that life flows exactly as it’s meant to, often more perfectly when I step out of the way. I stopped overthinking my life and relationships, and in doing so, my spirit found relief. And that relief has carried me into a beautiful new season. A slower, more romantic, more nourishing, and more successful season of life, in every way!
So, what about you?
What if slowing down is the key to experiencing everything you’ve been wanting? What might be waiting for you on the other side of busyness? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below. And, don’t forget to subscribe to receive weekly love notes from me on living a slower, more peaceful and romantic life!
